By Chinedu Hardy Nwadike
I have always maintained that should life be a football league, men and women will never play in one. Even though our desires are connected, they are never the same.
Christmas is here again and most especially, our dear December is half spent and before you know it, it will be another January characterized with New Year resolutions and so on.
There is always something with December and Christmas aside the fun, gifts, rice and chicken. People meet people and both good and bad things happen. Lots of expectations are met and lots of dreams are crushed and sent to the gutters.
With all these going on, where will you be found? It is a complex emotional web [kind of food web], and we all are contributing to it. Maybe, because I am a guy, I might not really understand the kind of prayers sisters say at night; the kinds of needs they fight just to stay with dignity and remain a virtuous woman. But I know how tough it can be, because I am also a human even though not a woman.
Somewhere in Malaysia, USA, Canada and even Ghana, a single guy is packing his bags with the expectations of going home to the village, finding a wife, finalizing all formalities and probably getting back to base in February.
Somewhere in Nigeria, another single guy is making plans on how he will raise money and get married to a girl sometime in November or August 2016. What a long term dream.
Who is the first to pack?
I know some guys will be reading this, and I want them to understand that in 2015, there’s nothing like infidelity between a boyfriend and a girlfriend. If you think you are secured by her love, just watch what will happen when a husband will come from nowhere with high recommendation and marry her.
Every sister is always packed up to move. She just needs to find what she is looking for and that is all.
Do we throw blames?
Blame who na? I remember when a girl I was dating told me she was getting married and it was beyond her powers. What did I do? Nothing. I just let her and not that I had in bondage, but the right thing to say is I moved on.
Are we supposed to blame the sisters for getting married to a serious and rich man? I will just say no. there is nothing like blames here. A free girl just made a free choice, even though relatives in most cases play a huge role in helping her decide.
And the Nigerian parents
Dear sisters, I am so sorry I am talking about men too much today, but I want to proffer a potential heart mending solution to our brothers whom most of you will be leaving. You know it’s not easy to see the hair you paid for attracting another guy.
When Nigerian parents with kids abroad see you and be nice to you, don’t worry, they have another plan for their sons. At times they even offer you to more than one of them until one eventually accepts to pick you. But that’s not bad at all.
They are all warming up to help in breaking the hearts of the other young man who is not their son. But life is like that because ‘for every win, someone must fail’ [Whitney Houston].
Who will accept?
Because it has become a trend, a high percentage of the single sisters are usually prepared for this. They want to go home looking good to attract the best young men. But wait! What is life about if not attraction and repulsion?
If there is love at first sight, why can’t there be husband and wife at first sight? Some people complain that the Christmas husband thing is always too sudden and none of them care to get to know each other.
Even pastors are proud to say this: “After praying for her, two weeks later, a man called from USA and said he wants to marry her. And before two months they wedded and she is now in USA with him”. What a miracle.
What happens after?
I am of the opinion that people should start inviting friends to their divorce parties and not just break up in silence and let people know maybe a year after. They should also provide food and drinks at the events.
Because people are not taking time to understand their real sides, the rate of divorce is increasing in the country and no one is showing concern.
My advice is simple. If you want to hook up with one of the Christmas husbands, just understand that it is not just about the marriage and posting classy pictures on Facebook, it is about staying married.
So far, I wish us all the best as we welcome the Christmas husband.